We are More than Our Jobs: Untethering our Identities and Decentring Work as WOC

We live in a world where what we do – our jobs – has almost become synonymous with who we are.

Senior Editor of Verywell Mind, Andria Park Huynh says that when most of us spend a third of our lives working, “it’s easy to see how it plays a significant role in shaping our identity.” There is grave danger, however, in conceptualizing our personhood only through our jobs. As Arthur Brooks, a professor at Harvard writes, “reducing yourself to any single characteristic, whether it be your title or your job performance, is a deeply damaging act.” Writing for the Harvard Business Review, Janna Koretz defines “enmeshment,” as “a situation where the boundaries between people become blurred, and individual identities lose importance.” What’s more is that enmeshment is deeply consequential and detrimental, preventing the “development of a stable, independent sense of self.”

Decentering work and detangling our identities is much easier said than done. For racialized women, this can often be an even harder task, with greater consequences. We speak with two DEI experts and coaches, Karen Patwa and Sacha Thompson, to understand why WOC are more prone to attaching their identities to their work.

Illustration by Liu Liu

We’re More Likely to Attach our Identities to Work

As racialized women, and as immigrants, we can admit that our professions have often taken centre stage in our lives. It’s become clear to us that WOC are more prone to attaching their identities to their work and there are several reasons behind this. Leadership Development and Executive Coach for Women of Colour Leaders Karen Patwa, says that “for many WOC, the alignment of personal and professional values is important. If that alignment is present, we might see our work as being a part of our identity.”

Inclusive Culture Curator, Coach, and founder of The Equity Equation Sacha Thompson shares that one of the reasons for this is due to the intersectionality of race and gender which creates its own set of challenges. She says that for WOC there’s “the need to constantly prove their worth in the face of historical discrimination” and that this has “led to a strong alignment of their identity with their professional accomplishments.”

“We believe instead, that we’re more than our jobs, our salaries, and our roles. Decentring work and untethering our identities is a journey in its own right, and it takes deliberate and mindful steps.”

The intersection of race and gender presents unique barriers for WOC who must navigate racist and patriarchal systems in both their professional and personal lives. For Thompson, the “connection between identity and work is deeply rooted in the historical devaluation of women of color, where skills, knowledge, and achievements became crucial components in establishing their worth and countering systemic biases.” In the same token, Patwa shares that “WOC are often valued for their work output rather than their intrinsic worthiness.”

Many WOC have grown up with experiences of sexism and racism. Many of us are also from immigrant families with histories of displacement and uprootedness. As Thompson says, “the generational trauma experienced by women of color” further impacts the ways in which they go on to “assert and validate their value through their professional endeavors.” 

As immigrant women, we have also used our professional achievements to fight our fear of mediocrity. As Patwa points out, we often “identify with the external validation that we receive at work in our attempts to compensate for internal feelings of unworthiness.”

So while many of us define ourselves based on our jobs and professional identities, the implications and risks often go deeper for racialized folks. And we’re not here to deter anyone from being ambitious or driven. We believe instead, that we’re more than our jobs, our salaries, and our roles. Decentring work and untethering our identities is a journey in its own right, and it takes deliberate and mindful steps. Here are a few ways to help.

1. Define your identity beyond your job title

Many of us gravitate towards jobs that speak to our values as people. But even so, it’s critical that you think of your personhood and identity beyond the job title you have or the promotions you receive (or don’t receive). 

Thompson suggests that we seek input from those who are close to us. She says “the perceptions of those closest to us often reveal aspects of our identity that we might not be fully aware of, contributing to a more comprehensive understanding of self.” For this, Thompson’s advice is to ask friends or family to provide a word or phrase that describes you. This has the potential to offer fresh perspective as you head towards your journey of self-discovery. 

2. Reflect on what brings you joy 

Many of us work in high-stress environments where striking a work-life balance can be difficult. But one of the most important ways to decenter work is by creating healthier boundaries and reflecting on what brings you joy on a day-to-day basis. As Thompson puts it, “delving into activities that bring genuine happiness and fulfillment can help in shaping a more holistic sense of identity, independent of career achievements. This process allows women of color to reconnect with their personal interests and aspirations outside of professional expectations.” 

Populating your days with activities and people that make you happy is a great way to remind yourself that your job is only one part of your life and that there’s so much more to who you are and what you bring to the world. Creating space to do simple things that make us happy also opens up avenues to self-discovery. 

3. Make a list of your achievements

Often when we reflect on our achievements, we only think about our profession: the degrees, the job titles, the promotions, and the projects. But in thinking about our identities beyond our jobs, we must consider success and achievements through a different lens. 

Patwa urges that we “think and talk and write about our life purpose and our personal identity as much as we discuss our careers.” The same is true when it comes to our achievements. We need to think, talk, and write about them with the same conviction. 

Make a list of 3 things you’ve accomplished in the last 12 months that have nothing to do with work. Think about the micro goals that you’ve set for yourself: reading a book every month, completing a 5 km run, making a new recipe, and so on. We are learning and growing every single day. Reflecting on the kinds of activities we engage with on a daily can help us see success in a new light. 

For many of us, detangling our identities and decentering work is a big challenge. For too long, WOC have prioritized their professions, often in unsustainable and unhealthy ways. But remember, we didn’t get here overnight. Creating long-lasting and meaningful change comes with time and practice. On this journey to decentering work, be sure to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. And remember, you are more than your career.